it's all good..

When is a strength a weakness and can a weakness ever become a strength?  

This is the question that's been on my mind lately.  Someone very close to me is the personification of determination.  He himself will tell you that he "loves a challenge."  If he deems something worthy of attaining he will do it, he will slay whatever dragon is before him- with sheer will as his weapon of his choice.  However, watching him in action recently, I realized that there is a super fine, gauze-like line between functional determination and uncontrollable compulsion.  

I don't know about you, but I tend to see a compulsion, of any kind really, as a weakness.  If I am truly compulsed to do something, I am not in control, I am unable to think clearly and my compulsion will get in the way of important things like perspective, understanding and relationships.

                                                             image © held by AnnMarie Gitchell, 2012

So, this small observation means big changes for me personally, in the way that I classify my own personality traits.  Instead of a linear dichotomy of strengths vs. weaknesses, in reality it's all relative.  Any one of my quirky or particular characteristics could be a strength or weakness depending on the concentration or the situation or the intention.  

I'm not sure why this feels so earth shattering to me except that this seems to confirm for me what I've always known in my gut- that we    need it all!  There's really no point in parsing it out, no point in labeling traits as good or bad.

For every time I'm upset by my apparent lack of strength- I can easily think of a situation where my vulnerability helped to create a bonding moment with another human being.  Likewise, for every time I feel a little guilty over my stubbornness or slightly unyielding manner, I'm sure my family might have a few comments on this, I can think of a time where that perseverance really paid off.  

What does all this mean for me on a daily basis?  I can sum it up in four words: 
don't eradicate-just modulate!