giving..

Some people are awesome at giving gifts.  They somehow manage to take all they know about you and magically determine and seem to easily find the most perfect, "holy crap I didn't even know I wanted this and now I realize how much I can't live without it," kind of gift. 

My mother is one of these people, I am not.  I will labor over trying to figure out the best little trinket or gadget for someone and inevitably end up falling short.  Truly, I have learned that this gift giving gene must skip a generation because my children are great gift givers too.  UGH!!

My oldest son will remember obscure references to a wanted item that a family member mentioned years ago and my youngest son will create something that is so personal and touching that he         always wins big points too.

So, of course, I got to thinking about types of gifts.  Yes, there are amazing and awesome things that people can buy for you- like the amazing and awesome computer my family all chipped in to buy for my fortieth birthday!  And, don't get me wrong, these things are all appreciated and utilized and adored, but really there a so many other kinds of amazing and awesome gifts too.  The homemade cards, art pieces, poems and sweet notes my children make for us, the times my husband anticipates my needs and    helps out in whatever way he can, the countless comforting hugs and kind words that my children and my family bestow upon me at just the right moment, a smile from a stranger, a friend listening to my rants- these are just a small list of some of the other kinds of amazing and awesome gifts I receive on an almost daily basis. (And, yes, I consider myself quite blessed!)

But, there is one more kind of gift.  One at which I am still practicing and honing my skills.  One that I hope my children feel now and may understand later.  I call them silent gifts.  These are the gifts that your receiver doesn't even realize they've been given.  What?  If the person receiving the gift isn't aware of it, then how can it be a gift- by definition?  So, I looked up the definition of gift:

"something voluntarily transferred by one person to another without compensation."  

Sure, it makes sense that recognition or awareness of a gift is fundamental to the whole gift giving processes- but in fact it's not!  The only caveat is that it must be without compensation.  So, every time you hold your tongue with your teenager, or every time you lovingly repeat the same information to your toddler (for the 50th time) and every time you complete menial tasks for the sake of your family (like grocery shopping- oh how I hate grocery shopping!!)  and every time you make someone else's life a little brighter, a little easier- especially if they don't realize what you've done or what you haven't done (like picking your battles with your husband) this is a silent gift.  

I know damn well that I will continue to struggle with picking out the obligatory material gifts for my
friends and family (sorry guys if you're reading this!)- but starting today- I wish to increase exponentially the amount of silent gifts that I pass along their way as well and maybe it will all  cancel out : )