I wish to be able to let some things go from my past, so I can share in other's joy.
Why do we hang on to pain longer than joy? Is it because we have more to learn from those experiences? Or do painful, tragic, negative experiences somehow impact the very core of who we are? Do these times linger, because they have more transfiguring power? You know like a particle accelerator, the only way to transform us is to bombard us with emotive experiences at 1 trillion electron volts. Is our essence what is left after such experimentation- the top quark perhaps? Or are we like the elusive Higgs-Boson, yet to be discovered. I'm really not sure. I do, however, truly believe that everyone we come into contact with has the potential to be a teacher.Peggy Tabor Millin wrote: "We never touch people so lightly that we do not leave a trace." Good, bad or otherwise the universe is unfolding its wisdom to us through people and experiences. This helps me, a little, especially when I have a moment with someone who is not very shall we say- "peaceful." I ask myself what can I learn from her or him. You begin to see negative experiences, well, less negatively. In fact, negative encounters can actually be seen as empowering!
I wish for the strength to overcome fears that are getting in the way of my happiness.
Is anyone else ever afraid to just let all their guards down and be happy? I feel that if I were to do this, I might jeopardize that which brings me the most happiness. But this doesn't make sense, right? I mean if I am afraid to be happy, because I don't want to lose my happiness, then I never really had the happiness to begin with- ugh! There is another Chinese Proverb that kind of sums this up for me: "You can not prevent the birds of sorrow from flying over your head, but you can prevent them from building nests in your hair."
I guess this is my wish, to keep the birds of sorrow from taking up residence in my head and in my heart.
Last year I had an amazing opportunity to travel to Costa Rica. I learned so much from this country and it's culture of happiness. Happiness seems to be worked into the fabric of every being who lives there. And, you can't help but pick up on it and "catch it" so to speak. What you notice is that the happiness they create is not at all personal, it's social. It is truly something to see, a unified goal of spreading happiness. It's that simple rule your mother taught you, treat others the way you wish to be treated. Well, damnit it works!
Helen Keller wrote: "We are never really happy until we try to brighten the lives of others." I think this is why I am so stuck on besting my fears and slaying old dragons because I truly want to "brighten the lives of others." But I think my problem is that I picture myself doing this in a grand and big way, you know like Oprah! I am realizing, however, that if we each focused on bringing happiness to others in even small everyday ways- then the world would be a better place. Maybe we all lose sight of this every now and then. Maybe being the best mother I can be is enough- maybe my children will go and be better men and do good- you know like Oprah!
Mother Teresa said "We cannot do great things, only small things with great love." I suppose if that's good enough for Mother Teresa then "geez louise"- it's got to be good enough for me!
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| Costa Rica Papagayo Peninsula image © held by AnnMarie Gitchell, 2010 |
