it's all good..

image © held by AnnMarie Gitchell, 2011 

happiness with a side of relish..

                                                             hap·pi·ness

                                                    noun \ˈha-pē-nəs\                                                 
                                                   : the state of being happy

                                                   : an experience that makes you happy

Happiness... Should not be a difficult concept, right? It has a very simple definition, yet, it seems to allude us frequently.  I often tell people that I am happy a lot, but rarely content.  That seems like an oxymoron, but I guess what I mean is that I often have happy moments in my life, day to day, but I rarely feel that I am at a "state of being" that I would like to hang out in for awhile, you know? Honestly, I think this isn't all bad, as it keeps me in motion, striving for more- but always at a cost.

 image © held by AnnMarie Gitchell, 2013   

Truth is, that this is a cop out, an excuse, a rationalization.  What I've been doing all wrong is a couple of things (well many for sure, but only a couple that relate to this idea):  

First of all, I am not adding these happy moments together.  I simply take each one as it comes and then let it go, like shelving a good book or tossing out the remnants of an amazing salted caramel pumpkin cake (just saying)!  "The sum is greater than it's parts."  Big cosmic DUH to me.

The second thing I do sometimes is compare myself to others.           
Theodore Roosevelt said "Comparison is the thief of joy."  I totally get this, rationally, but to live it is quite another thing.  

  

My wish today is to be able to string all of my happy moments together like little twinkling Christmas lights or drops along a spider web- to keep with me and brighten my path as I go.  I wish to be able to enjoy MY moments, because they are mine and not compare them to others.  I wish to savor every tiny bit of happiness that each day brings me and to relish in the happiness of others. 

a coolness with a lack of foreboding..

So, here in the midwest, fall is upon us.  That means, apple picking, pumpkin carving, cooler temperatures and darker evenings are in store.  Ironically, as the landscape begins to look more barren, I find that I tend to feel the most alive.

Sure, it's hard not to be taken by the beautiful fall colors that begin to show as the green of summer is lost.  But, you would think that fall being the messenger of winter would leave a foreboding taste in my mouth.  It really doesn't!  In fact, it is during fall that I seem to come to grips with some of the darker shadows floating about my soul.  As the cool wind cuts at my eyes, I can't help but tear up and I can't help but feel.  Yes, there is certainly something magical about fall!
image © held by AnnMarie Gitchell, 2013

we are all broken in some way..

Many people have described the importance of darkness and light.  Walt Whitman said, "Every moment of light and dark is a miracle and "J.R.R. Tolkien stated, "You can only come to the morning through the shadows."

These quotes ramble through my brain every time I go to work, bumping off of all of my mundane every day thoughts like a pin ball machine.  Every time that I set foot into a patient's room to meet them for the first time, to help them navigate through the murky waters of recovery- I hear these words.  This post is for all of us who have ever lost something, who have ever had to keep searching for the light. 

                image © held by AnnMarie Gitchell, 2013

how many quotes can I post about souls???

image © held by AnnMarie Gitchell, 2013

more soul searching..

     image © held by AnnMarie Gitchell, 2012