Friday, October 3, 2014
Wednesday, September 24, 2014
Wednesday, July 2, 2014
the middle...
Anyone my age or older can not forget, "Marcia, Marcia, Marcia.." the iconic rant of the quintessential middle child, Jan Brady. We all felt her angst not being the oldest and not being the youngest- just stuck in the middle. Like the Stealers Wheel song says "Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right, here I am stuck in the middle with you." Even living in Middle America can be a challenge where we get to enjoy snow storms, tornadoes, droughts and about 12 nice days out of 365.
Take home message is: being in the middle stinks!!
One of my favorite quotes is: "At the moment of commitment the entire universe conspires to assist you." So this is all fine and good if you CAN commit, but if you are stuck in the quagmire of wishy-washy-ness you might as well hang it up, because the entire universe will at best ignore you and at worst- is out to get you!!!
My point in all this...being "in between" is a rough place to be. I always feel like if I can wrap my head around things and come up with a plan, I'm good..being in transition or not knowing where I stand on something can be, well a little fearful. Even just being in the middle of two different feelings/emotions. For example, when I hear the sump pump in my midwestern basement start working in the middle of June during the early summer rain storms I feel equal parts relief, "Yes my sump pump is working!!" and anxiety, "Oh crap my sump pump has to work because there's so much torrential water raining down us, what if it breaks!!"
Relief and anxiety, like two ugly step sisters, holding hands, skipping along and tormenting me. I am relieved that my boys are getting older and more independent, I am anxious that they will begin to experience the world without me, without my watchful eye.
I am relieved that I am able to work part time, but always anxious that it's not enough and that I am somehow missing my purpose. Relieved that I have made it this far in my life, being relatively healthy..anxious that something unpleasant is lurking around the corner.
I totally get the importance of living in the moment (insert me whining "but it's so hard!") If I can live purely in each moment that comes my way, and appreciate it at it's most base level with limited interpretation (key for me)- I will no longer find myself in the middle...just the IS.
So, I guess this is my next wish, to be able to chase away the middle, to not be stymied by the anxiety of "what will be" or to stumble backwards over the "what was" and to just embrace the "is"...
image © held by AnnMarie Gitchell, 2013
Take home message is: being in the middle stinks!!
One of my favorite quotes is: "At the moment of commitment the entire universe conspires to assist you." So this is all fine and good if you CAN commit, but if you are stuck in the quagmire of wishy-washy-ness you might as well hang it up, because the entire universe will at best ignore you and at worst- is out to get you!!!
My point in all this...being "in between" is a rough place to be. I always feel like if I can wrap my head around things and come up with a plan, I'm good..being in transition or not knowing where I stand on something can be, well a little fearful. Even just being in the middle of two different feelings/emotions. For example, when I hear the sump pump in my midwestern basement start working in the middle of June during the early summer rain storms I feel equal parts relief, "Yes my sump pump is working!!" and anxiety, "Oh crap my sump pump has to work because there's so much torrential water raining down us, what if it breaks!!"
Relief and anxiety, like two ugly step sisters, holding hands, skipping along and tormenting me. I am relieved that my boys are getting older and more independent, I am anxious that they will begin to experience the world without me, without my watchful eye.
I am relieved that I am able to work part time, but always anxious that it's not enough and that I am somehow missing my purpose. Relieved that I have made it this far in my life, being relatively healthy..anxious that something unpleasant is lurking around the corner.
I totally get the importance of living in the moment (insert me whining "but it's so hard!") If I can live purely in each moment that comes my way, and appreciate it at it's most base level with limited interpretation (key for me)- I will no longer find myself in the middle...just the IS.So, I guess this is my next wish, to be able to chase away the middle, to not be stymied by the anxiety of "what will be" or to stumble backwards over the "what was" and to just embrace the "is"...
image © held by AnnMarie Gitchell, 2013
Friday, May 9, 2014
Monday, May 5, 2014
Wednesday, March 12, 2014
the drive home..
Here's proof that this LOOOOOOONG winter is not without some merit : )
| image © held by AnnMarie Gitchell, 2014 |
And, here's to looking ahead to summer!!
| image © held by AnnMarie Gitchell, 2008 |
Friday, February 28, 2014
destined for greatness...
I was talking to a good friend of mine today when she said something that really resonated with me,"I have always felt destined for greatness." This stuck with me because I totally get what she's saying. I too have felt that there is something magical, important, life altering waiting, sometimes lurking, for me- just around the corner.
 |
| image © held by AnnMarie Gitchell, 2011 |
Now, I can't speak for my friend, but my need to search out the greatness that the universe has safely locked up in storage for me (picture the ark of the covenant at the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark) is NOT to obtain fame, it is NOT to amass great wealth, it is NOT to be acknowledged as the most awesome person in the universe (although, that would be pretty great!)- rather- it is to find that one unique talent that I have, that I can utilize to effect change and to help others.
This is what people refer to when they say they have found their "calling," or "purpose." I think my friend and I, and many other women our age, are feeling this cupidity to find our "greatness" because we set that quest aside to fulfill other dreams, namely becoming wives and mothers.
Yes, but maybe using a gazillion different talents to raise happy, shiny children is our calling- you say? Perhaps for some this is true, for me it's partially true. I do believe that raising awesome children to be amazing adults is part of my purpose for sure- but, I have to also believe that finding my own unique greatness and sharing it with others has to be a part of setting a good example for these awesome children, right?
At any rate, I wish for all of us to find the greatness that exists within us- that little sparkle that we want and need to share with the universe.
Make the most of yourself by fanning the tiny, inner sparks of possibility into flames of achievement.
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/g/goldameir162893.html#kYzAh8rboMgmzsDw.99
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/g/goldameir162893.html#kYzAh8rboMgmzsDw.99
Make the most of yourself by fanning the tiny, inner sparks of possibility into flames of achievement.
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/g/goldameir162893.html#kYzAh8rboMgmzsDw.99
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/g/goldameir162893.html#kYzAh8rboMgmzsDw.99
Make the most of yourself by fanning the tiny, inner sparks of possibility into flames of achievement.
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/g/goldameir162893.html#kYzAh8rboMgmzsDw.99"
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/g/goldameir162893.html#kYzAh8rboMgmzsDw.99"
"Make the most of yourself by fanning the tiny, inner sparks of possibility into flames of achievement."
- Golda Meir
Friday, February 14, 2014
Monday, January 27, 2014
Saturday, January 25, 2014
can something secondary be of primary importance?
I really believe that every person we meet in this world is a teacher. Everyone has something to offer us, a new perspective, wisdom from unique experiences. We've all had situations where we have a strong reaction to a new person- good or bad. There could be many explanations for this (all good topics for later discussions) and one could be that they have something to impart to us, something we need for our journey, something we have no idea, in fact, how needed it is!
Generally, when my encounters are emotional in a positive way, I am able to extract the key truth that was intend for me pretty quickly and obviously. Although, I rarely feel it in the moment, when something negative happens between me and another humanoid- eventually (may be minutes, could be years later) I am able to gain great insight. It seems to me, that these negative moments tend to leave more of a trace, seem to dig a deeper groove in my soul from which wisdom grows.
One type of negative encounter could be when there is anger present between two people. Not a fun topic, I know. Unfortunately, not something foreign to me. Anger can rear it's gnarly, stinky self for any number of reasons. A teenager once told me that "anger is a secondary emotion." I remember this years later and think about it almost every time I blow up at my son or my husband or myself. I think it stuck with me, because I had never thought about it that way before.
Anger is never primary, there is always something else lurking behind it. So, right about now you're trying to imagine a situation that would really tick you off and would prove that anger can be primary. I know, because I tried, a lot, to debunk this- and I couldn't!
Fear is a common emotional "lurker." Fear of failure, fear of change, fear of loss, fear of most things can cause us to be angry. So, now you might be asking yourself, "So what?" Well, I guess my point in discussing it is that we can never really change someone else's behavior, but we can change our own through understanding. Understanding is the key to empathy which opens the door to tolerance. If we can attempt to understand what lies behind someone's anger (or our own) maybe, just maybe, we can begin to tolerate their perspective and perhaps healing can happen and maybe we can all become a little wiser?!
I wish to be able to see past other's anger and to decipher my own- so that I may be a small part in the healing process. I always tell my kids to be part of the solution, not the problem- I wish to live this!!
Generally, when my encounters are emotional in a positive way, I am able to extract the key truth that was intend for me pretty quickly and obviously. Although, I rarely feel it in the moment, when something negative happens between me and another humanoid- eventually (may be minutes, could be years later) I am able to gain great insight. It seems to me, that these negative moments tend to leave more of a trace, seem to dig a deeper groove in my soul from which wisdom grows.
One type of negative encounter could be when there is anger present between two people. Not a fun topic, I know. Unfortunately, not something foreign to me. Anger can rear it's gnarly, stinky self for any number of reasons. A teenager once told me that "anger is a secondary emotion." I remember this years later and think about it almost every time I blow up at my son or my husband or myself. I think it stuck with me, because I had never thought about it that way before.
Anger is never primary, there is always something else lurking behind it. So, right about now you're trying to imagine a situation that would really tick you off and would prove that anger can be primary. I know, because I tried, a lot, to debunk this- and I couldn't!
 |
image © held by AnnMarie Gitchell, 2011 |
I wish to be able to see past other's anger and to decipher my own- so that I may be a small part in the healing process. I always tell my kids to be part of the solution, not the problem- I wish to live this!!
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