another new wish...

This is my next wish, to have a pure mind, because who doesn't want joy following them around everywhere they go?  But what does this mean exactly? 


There are many definitions of the word "pure" and here are a few of my favorites: 1. free from harshness or roughness and being in tune  2. being thus and no other  3. not directed toward exposition of reality or solution of practical problems.


Little did I know that this simple expression "to have a pure mind" could sum up the motivation behind my entire journey!  (I would use the word "focus" instead of motivation, but really that is an oxymoronic statement: a journey of self-enlightenment really can not have one focus, but is rather granted many foci along the way, changing with every bend, at least that's what I've come to believe so far)


You gotta love the magnitude of wisdom that is packed into the efficient teachings of Zen/Buddhism. I feel like Emerson could have been describing this when he said that "The creation of a thousand forests is in one acorn." And, yes, you guessed it, each one of us is that acorn too (oh you betcha, I went there!) and we are filled with all the wisdom of the universe, we just have to be pure of mind to know it. Thoreau said "It's not what you look at that matters, it's what you see."

At any rate,  I would love my mind to be "free from harshness"-  to use only empowering self-talk and be in "tune" with who I am (ok, so I've taken some liberties here with the meaning of "tune" but that's how I roll); I would also like to be content with myself just because I am myself and finally, I wish to devote by mindful duties to just being to be, not being to be something.  Does that make any sense?  

can't we all just get along?



image © held by AnnMarie Gitchell, 2010



Andre Gide (French author and winner of the Nobel Prize in literature in 1947) said: "Believe those who are seeking the truth.  Doubt those who find it."  

Wow!  This is quite the concept, when I read it my perspective of myself was instantly turned on it's ear!  I mean, let's face it, we all know those individuals who talk a big talk and seem to know all the answers and seem to never "wander."  At some point, I'm sure we've all felt our self confidence waiver in the presence of others  who seem to have found "the truth." "Why can't I figure it out?" I ask myself all the time!  I guess instead I should be asking "Where can I look next?"

So, to sum up thus far I have come to realize that I am wandering, but not lost and that I am seeking the truth but, gratefully, have not found it.  Does this elucidate anything for me?  Maybe not in the way I was looking for, but it does give me hope.  Hope that I am on the right course, hope that maybe instead of feeling sheepish and doubtful about my quest that really I should feel good that I am constantly searching for the truth, my truth.

Today, after attending two wakes (one for a dear high school classmate; and one for a saintly family friend) I can honestly say that I am grateful for many obnoxious things: I am grateful for the fact that I have to battle both wrinkles and acne at the same time; grateful that I find myself saying the same things to my children over and over again; grateful that I have to balance the need to work out more than ever with the fact that my energy stores are tapped out by 3:00 in the afternoon; and I am grateful that I haven't completed my quest- because all these things mean that I am alive and kicking and that I've been given the gift of another day!!



image © held by AnnMarie Gitchell, 2010


God bless you Deb and Tom



good 'ol Ralph...

All this talk about journeys and paths reminded me of this great quote from Ralph Waldo Emerson.



image © held by AnnMarie Gitchell, 2010






The thing I love about all these amazing poets, writers and  philosophers is that they make me think new thoughts, question old ones and feel more keenly.


The thing I don't appreciate so much, is that I am left with all these thoughts, questions and feelings that I don't often know how to put into action.

My problem is that I have been expecting to blaze "my trail," when in reality it's more like seeing occasional sparks along the way.


But, I think that's the point of Ralph's statement here; take all that you have and all that you are and  just start making your own way.  If the course is authentic- it can't be wrong!

Pluralitas non est ponenda sine neccesitate

Maybe, because my children are getting older, maybe because I'm getting older (40 is not the new 30, no matter what anyone says!) or maybe just because we live in such a crazy media blitzed world (making it seem like so many other people inhabiting this planet have their s_ _ _ more together than I do)- but lately I've been feeling a bit lost, confused, dazed, indecisive about where to go from here.

I have a very clear picture of where I've been and I've got a handle on what I'm doing at the moment (mostly raising my boys) but I feel like I don't have a clue about what I should be focusing on for tomorrow.  Not because I feel I need to be, but because I want to be!  The end result is a lot of not so nice chatter in my head, which I logically know to be destructive, or at the very least a little obtrusive, but I can't help it!  Ugh!

Then I ran across a quote, what else is new, that made me feel just a little brighter.  It made me rethink my perspective on me- and that always makes me smile.  This quote is quite short, only seven words long, but it's profound in it's simplicity (most profound things are quite simple, Occam's razor and all that) and it's my new mantra:



image © held by AnnMarie Gitchell, 2011



Ok, so for sure I am wandering and maybe I am trying a bunch of different things right now, and maybe I am a bit fuzzy when it comes to my focus- but I AM NOT LOST!!!!!  And, maybe some of you out there can relate to this and I am here to tell you that YOU ARE NOT LOST EITHER!!!!

I always tell my children that the truth lies in the journey, not the final destination.  I just have to accept that my journey may be a bit longer than others.  But what I got from Tolkien is that this doesn't necessarily have to be pejorative in nature.

I have learned two things about my quest so far: 1. If my journey is longer and more circuitous and more arduous than others- maybe I will learn more along the way and 2. my path is my path alone.  The shape of it, the length of it, the obstacles along it and the beauty that it unfolds- is truly unique to me and that makes me smile too.

So, if you've found your purpose, your focus, your bliss- God love ya' and if you haven't yet- keep on wandering proudly along!!

noun /ˈbaləns/: Harmony of design and proportion

Let's be kind to ourselves



image and text © held by AnnMarie Gitchell, 2011



Something I'm counting on



image © held by AnnMarie Gitchell, 2011



New light

Wishes for my children..

I do not wish for my children to never know heart ache, But I pray that they may also know great love.

I do not wish for my children to never have their feelings hurt, But I pray that they never injure another.

I do not wish for my children to always win, But I pray that they are always good sports.

I do not wish for my children to accept my opinions as gospel, But I pray that they do believe in something.

I do not wish for my children to never know adversity, But I pray that they have the strength to overcome it.


I do not wish for my children a perfect world, But I pray that they try to make their's better.

I do not make wishes for my children, Rather, I pray that I've taught them how to make their own.



image © held by AnnMarie Gitchell, 2009